Ilona L. Tobin, Ed.D.

Licensed Psychologist

Archive for the ‘Self Esteem’ Category

Much like a computer responds to commands, your brain can be programmed to accept any changes you might want to make in your life. However, many of your current behaviors stem from unconstructive programming you received as a child that may stand in the way of change.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, published in 1960, says, “Beliefs about ourselves have unconsciously been formed from our past experiences … especially in early childhood.” So keep in mind, when you want to change a particular habit or belief, that the unwanted behavior was built on patterns developed over time. Read the rest of this entry »

Tolerations are a drain on life energy and distract you from your life purpose. Here’s a list of 10 behaviors and situations to stop tolerating.

1. Unkind words or behavior. If you’ve been putting up with people speaking disrespectfully to you, some work on your self-esteem may be in order.

2. Poor work/life balance. It’s essential for health and happiness not to let work take priority over home and family.

3. Unhappiness in your job. These tolerations might include disrespectful clients, bosses or coworkers. What is one action that you can take right now to shift the situation?

4. Clutter. Take five minutes each day to put things in order. Someone else’s mess? Have an honest conversation about the problem.

5. House and car repairs. Make it a habit to repair things quickly. You might be saving yourself from a bigger problem (and bill).

6. Lack of respect for time. Communicate honestly about the impact of other people’s lateness. Take inventory of your awareness of others’ time, if needed.

7. Poor wellness habits. Don’t give in to bad habits. Being proactive about your health now can prevent larger health issues in the future.

8. Obligations. Your wishes are important. Don’t want to attend the work party for a coworker you never bonded with? That’s okay.

9. Financial problems. Use an online budget system like to keep yourself financial fit.

10. Negativity. Try listing five things in your life for which you have gratitude right now.