\u201cTo love is to stop comparing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u2014Bernard Grasset<\/p>\n
Comparing ourselves and our loved ones to others seems to be ingrained into us. We notice similarities and differences. It\u2019s one way we learn to navigate our world.<\/p>\n
The trouble comes when we notice differences and then use that information to feel \u201cless than.\u201d For instance, rather than noticing someone\u2019s success and letting that inspire us to take the risk we\u2019ve been wanting to take, instead we may despair, believing that we could never have that kind of success ourselves.
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\nSo while comparison doesn\u2019t have to be a destructive practice, much of the time it is, leading to tumbling self-confidence and harming our ability to be happy in the world. And when we compare our children to others we also run the risk of damaging our relationship with our children as well as their self-esteem.<\/p>\n
As Judith Orloff writes in her book Emotional Freedom, \u201cComparing yourself to others can preclude a bond of common fellowship and is a barrier to finding true worth.\u201d In short, the habit of comparison is a good one to break.<\/p>\n
Here are some tips to help you stop comparing yourself and your loved ones to others:<\/p>\n
Pay attention.<\/strong> Become mindful of those moments when you are feeling jealously or envy or a sense of inferiority. Awareness of making the comparison is the important first step.<\/p>\n Try to adopt a more realistic view of others<\/strong>. Nobody\u2019s life is perfect. The next time you find yourself agonizing over someone else\u2019s good luck, try to put yourself in his or her shoes\u2026remember that everyone has struggles and moments of happiness.<\/p>\n Cultivate gratitude for what you have.<\/strong> Look around and notice the aspects of your life that make you happy. Make a daily list of the blessings in your life.<\/p>\n Give to others what you most desire for yourself.<\/strong> If you want love, give love. If you want attention, give attention. Helping others is one of the best ways to build your own self-esteem and escape from destructive mental traps.<\/p>\n Redirect, build and affirm.<\/strong> When you find yourself engaging in harmful comparisons, redirect your thoughts to your positive traits or to the wonderful traits of your loved ones, and then compliment yourself or them. Complimenting children not only builds up their self-esteem, but it helps prevent them from adopting the habit of comparing themselves to others.<\/p>\n Focus on your strengths instead of weaknesses.<\/strong> Rather than thinking, \u201cI\u2019m fat and she\u2019s skinny,\u201d celebrate your strengths. Be proud of your uniqueness, special talents and skills.<\/p>\n With awareness and practice, it is possible to cultivate a life that is relatively free of comparison\u2014a life in which you and your loved ones are much happier and content. [<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cTo love is to stop comparing.\u201d \u2014Bernard Grasset Comparing ourselves and our loved ones to others seems to be ingrained into us. We notice similarities and differences. It\u2019s one way we learn to navigate our world. The trouble comes when we notice differences and then use that information to feel \u201cless than.\u201d For instance, rather […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=169"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":170,"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/169\/revisions\/170"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}