{"id":141,"date":"2011-02-18T10:49:46","date_gmt":"2011-02-18T15:49:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/?p=141"},"modified":"2011-02-18T10:49:46","modified_gmt":"2011-02-18T15:49:46","slug":"winter-newsletter-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.drilonatobin.com\/index.php\/2011\/02\/18\/winter-newsletter-2011\/","title":{"rendered":"Winter Newsletter 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"

DOWNLOAD THIS ARTICLE AND MORE AS A PDF FILE by clicking this link: Winter Newsletter 2011<\/a><\/p>\n

Living With Grief:
\nHow to Survive a Significant Loss<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the hardest things we\u2019ll ever experience is the loss of someone\u2014or something\u2014dear to us. Grieving is a normal and natural response to this loss. While death is one of the most common losses, grief also comes with other big and small life changes, such as a serious illness, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, relocating to an unfamiliar city, or other lifestyle changes.<\/p>\n

Even if you aren\u2019t currently grieving, it can be beneficial to think about the grief process. At its core, grief is a part of the experience of being alive\u2026and human. And while grief isn\u2019t pleasant, it can give us insight, compassion and strength that we wouldn\u2019t otherwise have found.<\/p>\n

Here are some ways to access those greater qualities, survive a significant loss or help someone experiencing grief.
\n
\n1. Expect a process.
\n<\/strong>In stark contrast to how frequently TV characters talk about \u201cgetting closure,\u201d in reality, grief is an ongoing experience. The goal of grieving isn\u2019t to \u201cget to the bottom of it\u201d or to stop feeling a certain way. Instead, it\u2019s a process of learning to live with your emotions every day and every moment. Even years later, reminders like a special day or the smell of a favorite meal may trigger a fresh wave of memories and feelings linked to the loss.<\/p>\n

2. Acknowledge the loss.
\n<\/strong>\u201cWhen a person is born we rejoice, and when they\u2019re married we jubilate,\u201d wrote Margaret Mead, \u201cbut when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.\u201d If someone in your life is grieving, do your best to acknowledge that something has happened. Avoid clich\u00e9s. Don\u2019t force a conversation if the person isn\u2019t ready to talk. While it may feel awkward, a simple gesture like a hug or sitting together in silence can have meaning. An offer to help with a household task, such as running errands or making a meal, can also go a long way.<\/p>\n

3. Do the grief work.
\n<\/strong>In our fast-paced world, we tend to expect things to be quick, direct and convenient. Living with grief isn\u2019t any of these things. There is no \u201cone-size-fits-all\u201d solution, no series of steps to make it hurt less, no magical approach that shortens the time it takes to heal. Instead, living with grief requires us to feel our feelings, fully and completely. In the words of poet Emily Dickinson: \u201cThe best way out is through.\u201d<\/p>\n

4. Ask for help.
\n<\/strong>Lean on your support system. If you\u2019re not sure how to ask for help, \u201cI\u2019m having a hard time\u2026\u201d is a good way to start. If you need help beyond what your friends and family can provide, seek the support of a grief group as well as your counselor or therapist.<\/p>\n

As with any process, it takes time to learn new skills and ways to cope with grief. Be gentle with yourself as you experience strong feelings. That kindness toward yourself can be the important first step toward a broader healing that will have ramifications after the grief has subsided.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"